At a conference I attended last month, a colleague summed up his presentation by saying, “A coach’s goal is to win.” While some people nodded back at him, I immediately felt my body tense up. I wanted to counter back: “Is winning the ultimate goal, or is it much more than that?” To me, his view was not only shortsighted, but dangerous.
Any collegiate level coach will tell you: the pressure to win is immense. We know that the stats matter, but coaches cannot holistically support their students when the focus is narrowly on wins and losses. When I was a coach, some of the most fulfilling and meaningful “victories” along the way were everyday improvements, such as a slice serve that finally clicked during practice or a conversation with a student-athlete that led her to have a complete attitude adjustment. It didn’t mean that we were guaranteed to win the next match, but these were certainly moments to be celebrated.
Athletic directors and administrators must be the ones to set the tone and reassure coaches that they’re in the business of developing humans, not just pursuing the next victory at any cost. To improve the experience of student-athletes, we must break the vicious cycle of pressure from administration to coaches to athletes.
The mental health statistics from collegiate athletes are already stark and trending in the wrong direction. We’ve all seen how collegiate sports have become more competitive and professionalized over the past decades, with students absorbing the heightened expectations and pressure. The upcoming changes from the House settlement, which will allow schools to share revenue directly with athletes starting next month, will only serve to increase that pressure—especially at the Division I level.
What can parents do? We have a responsibility to model pride in our child’s accomplishments whether they win or lose. From the time our kids start participating in sports, we must keep the focus on their positive efforts and attitudes. We should strive not to overemphasize wins (this is hard to do!) or drill down on losses.
If collegiate sports programs can incorporate holistic goals into their programs, coaches will benefit and our student-athletes will thrive. By celebrating unofficial victories, skills improvements, and team goals, we can lift up our student-athletes and remind them that we’re investing in them as humans, not just chasing numbers on a spreadsheet.
