My oldest son graduated from high school two weeks ago. I honestly didn’t expect to be overwhelmed by the moment, but when we were in the stands watching him cross the stage, I was tearing up along with many other parents. I felt a rush of pride, love and accomplishment when I reflected on his journey and everything that set him on the path to becoming the young man that he is today.
It wasn’t a given that a sport was going to be my son’s “thing.” People assume that I basically charted the course for him because I’m a coach, but that’s not what happened. My husband and I largely let our son drive the process when it came to soccer. I’ve seen some parents push way too fast when they recognize that their kid has some talent and interest, and it can lead to rebellion or burnout. We always tried to set a reasonable level of expectation and not challenge or force him to do more than he wanted to do.
He started playing soccer in the local rec league at age 5 and quickly fell in love with the game. As he got older, he set his sights on competing at the highest levels. But the road wasn’t smooth. He was overlooked not once, but twice. The first time came when talent scouts passed him over for a top development program. He was disappointed, but not deterred. The following year, he earned a starting spot on that very team. Years later, he was recruited to try out for one of the most competitive club teams in town. After months of training with the squad, it was a shock when he didn’t make the final roster. Still, he kept showing up and working hard, earning a place on the team just a few short weeks later. By the end of the season, he was a mainstay in the starting lineup. All the parental pressure in the world wouldn’t have motivated him to make that leap from being overlooked—twice—to becoming a key player. That fire had to come from within.
The same quiet determination that fueled his soccer journey showed up in the classroom, too. Academics didn’t always come easily, especially because he’s dyslexic, but he kept showing up and putting in the work. He even opted to increase the rigor of his curriculum in his senior year (with gentle encouragement from me) and held his own in those classes. The discipline he built through soccer helped him stay focused even when things were hard. As he heads off to college, we know he has the resilience and work ethic to tackle new academic challenges that are thrown his way.
My son’s sport became an integral part of his life—so much more than just a game. Time that could have been spent playing Xbox or getting into trouble was instead dedicated to honing his craft, surrounded by teammates and coaches. The structure, commitment, and growth that came from that experience will serve him well as he joins his college soccer team. He’ll lean on his support system there, just as he always has. And what makes me proudest is that this path was his to choose. He drove the process, both in soccer and in school, and the growth he’s experienced along the way has been entirely his own. I know the resilience and work ethic he’s developed will carry him far—on the field, in the classroom, and eventually, in whatever career path he chooses.
If you have more specific questions about how to best support your child along the path to playing sports in college, you can find the answers in my new e-book: Let Them Play: A No-Nonsense Guide to Parenting Student-Athletes.
